Last year I read one of the most eye opening books ever…. You are a Badass by Jen Sincero. In this book Sincero helps you to believe that you can do just about anything you set your mind to! But then, she gets deep, real deep and makes you dissect your thoughts, your “why”, and take a deep dive into your excuses. She tells readers that excuses actually serve them in some way and that is why we feed them to ourselves. One of the excuses I wrote down was “It’s too hard to be as successful as [Insert successful person’s name here] and the way this lie served me was that “I was right”… When I repeatedly told myself this, I had an excuse to never try, to never fail, to never put myself out there and I could stay safe in this boring little bubble of not doing what I was made for. She also mentions in this book that we make excuses because we like to play the victim, it’s easier to play the victim than to take accountability for our actions. She was right, and after writing down my excuses and seeing how they served me, I realized that I was all too comfortable with being… comfortable.
Many times the biggest obstacle standing in our way to success is US! We sabotage ourselves, we don’t believe in ourselves, we feel sorry for ourselves and it keeps us stuck. Today I’m talking about 4 lies that we believe and how they are holding us back.
I Have To Stick With The Career Path I Went To School For
I hear people say this a lot “well I went to school for Kinesiology, so I can’t start my own creative business” or “Well I would have to go back to school if I want to pursue this new path”. This just isn’t true. Obviously if you want to be a Doctor and you went to school to be a Chef, you will have to go back to school, but for most career ventures you don’t need to do this.
I had a “friend” who when I told her I was going back to bartend so I could pursue my creative business on the side, she said “Don’t you want to use your degree?” and I had another friend tell me “Do you ever wish you never got your degree since you don’t use it?”…. There will be people in your life who don’t understand your career choices, but don’t let them dim your light. If you’ve got a passion for something, go after it! That passion and energy is POWERFUL and you’d be surprised how far it can get you. Plus wouldn’t you hate to look back and realize you never took that leap of faith because you were to afraid of what other’s thought?
Also, for the record, I use my degree DAILY :) Because college taught me all about problem solving, deadlines, communication and being a boss!
The Market Is Over-Saturated
Is it really? This is another thing I hear from my industry and at first I totally believed this lie and it held me back. But pretty soon I started to realize that most people don’t even know a calligrapher! When you are on Instagram and you are following 50 other calligraphers, of course you are going to think the market is over-saturated, but once you get out into the real world, you’ll realize that there is plenty of work out there for everyone, you just need to find it, or have them find you ;) I will say about once a week I hear someone say “I’m glad I found you, it’s so hard to find a calligrapher! (or a chalkboard artist… or anything of the many things I do haha!).
So if you see a lot of people doing what you want to do, don’t fret. Find a way to diversify yourself in the market and push towards your goals!
No One Will Pay Me Because Other People Offer My Same Service For A Lot Cheaper
Another HUGE one in the Calligraphy/Wedding world. The common complaint is that other calligraphers/photographers/wedding planners etc… are taking their work because they are cheaper and they are devaluing the market. I get it, I have had other calligraphers undercut me massively before and I do understand that this is very frustrating. While there is some truth that these people are “devaluing” the market, I just don’t believe the lie that “I can’t make a living because there are cheaper [FILL IN YOUR INDUSTRY] out there”. There will ALWAYS be someone cheaper than you, we live in a capitalist society, so it’s bound to happen. However, not everyone is YOU, they can’t offer what YOU offer, so take comfort in that. That cheap calligrapher may have horrible client service, or their work may not be that great. AND if their work is great, and they offer excellent client service and they are the cheapest in town, they will be burnt out so fast and probably quit or raise their prices.
If I Try To Have My Own Business I’ll Fail
The truth is… you might but that shouldn’t stop you. If this career/business pursuit is something you REALLY want, you will find a way to keep pushing on. Everyone has failures, success is literally built on a mountain of failures. When you see someone successful remember that they started somewhere just like you! When I first started I got really intimidated by other successful artists (honestly I still struggle with it every now and then) and something I would do is go WAYYYYYY back in their instagram feed (it sounds like I’m a total stalker but just hear me out) and I would see that they weren’t always as good as they are now and I would be easier on myself after seeing this. Go ahead, scroll back to my first instagram posts and you’ll see what I’m talking about haha! Everyone fails, everyone starts at the beginning, that is life.
If you repeat something to yourself enough you will start believing it, so get real and honest with yourself about your excuses. What are you saying to yourself? How are your excuses serving you? If you want to move forward and be successful you will need to dig deep and uncover the lies you are telling yourself. Then change those lies into positive truths! And I will leave you with a quote from Sincero’s book that sums it all up!